The Swiss roll and the Tigers roar

**Good news of sorts that Poland & Ukraine have not been dropped as Euro 2012 hosts, despite widespread rumors to the contrary. Much as I love tournaments in new places, these two countries have an impossible-looking job beyond rebuilding their stadia in time for kick-off.

Any host nation must also be able to ferry thousands of visiting fans around the country 24/7. And most Europeans use the train for tournament travel. But when I looked it up, a trip from Gdansk to Donetsk, two venues for 2012, takes 36 hours with two changes on the rails….

What about USA ’94, I hear you cry. Well, I checked the flight options and I could make the same trip in five hours with one change in Germany. Better than 'training' it sure, but the cost was as high as flying from London to New York!

I am all for opening up the world, but placing the World Cup in South Africa and the Euros in Ukraine looks increasingly nuts, the fans once again an afterthought. Who to blame? Italy. Yup. The Calciopoli scandal and the wave of Italian hooliganism in 2006 wrecked what had been the outstanding bid for 2012. Euro 2016 will have 24 teams, as many as played in USA ’94. Which presumably means hosts like Austria & Switzerland or Poland & Ukraine can never join forces again.

**Still speaking of UEFA, am I the only person who agrees with Michel Platini about Arsene Wenger? “All that interests Wenger is looking after number one,” hissed President Platini this week. When it came to video replays, a cause given more urgency by Reading’s ‘ghost-goal’ at Watford last week, Platini appeared to say no and slate his nemesis in the same sentence: “I'm looking forward to Arsene Wenger never seeing that happen”, he said. But was this a sly allusion to the Arsenal boss' habit of putting his blind eye to the telescope whenever his team is at fault? I’d like to think Hull’s breaking of Arsenal’s unbeaten home record today was divine approval.

**I was delighted to see West Ham could be facing a $55m bill for breaching FAPL rules two seasons ago. The Hammers should never have dealt with the shady Kia Joorabchian, who arranged the arrival of Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez, in the first place, and never misled the FA over the details of those transfers. Forget the issues surrounding national law’s infringement in sport - West Ham knew the league’s rules and thought they could slip past them unnoticed. Lord Triesman, FA Chairman, put it quite succinctly, thus: “If it is going to go through the courts it is going to drag on and on. It would be much simpler for people to observe the rules of football.”

**Yet again, contrary to all their publicity, football refuses to treat racism seriously, as FIFA has fined Croatia only 30,000 Swiss Francs ($27,500) for the chants heard at the Croatia v England game. The Croatian FA had already been fined $10,000 by UEFA for racist chants from their fans during Euro 2008, so why haven’t the soccer authorities learnt their lesson that a gentle slap on the wrist is no deterrent, and certainly an inadequate punishment?

Article 58 of FIFA's Disciplinary Code stipulates the CHF 30,000 figure as a minimum fine for fans' racist chanting. It goes on to say "serious offences" merit additional punishments include playing games behind closed doors, points deduction, forfeiting matches and disqualification. So what was it about thousands making monkey noises when England's black players got the ball which wasn't SERIOUS?

Incidentally, the 20-man FIFA Disciplinary Committee who made the decision is chaired by a Swiss gentleman and includes an American, Mike Edwards, as well as a Mr Hong from Hong Kong and two brothers from Lichtenstein.

**What can be said about the entertaining calamity that is Newcastle? I am glad whenever fan power works, but crowds can go crazy, too. Re-hiring a legend famous for running away in tears at the first sign of trouble looked folly to everyone outside St James' Park, but more importantly there is nothing odd these days in a club dealing players without the coach’s full support.
The communication at the club was of course awry, but the real problem remains King Kev’s demi-god status among the unrealistic Toon fans, who cultivate a regional separateness akin to Barcelona’s and a macho culture akin to Eastern Europe’s.

King Kev stirred this up in an attempt to change the power balance and it seems he will come again in glory, but given his nature, it will all end in tears once more. A goal kick away in Sunderland, the Celtic Tiger Roy Keane, fresh from savaging CONCACAF ‘Pirate of the Caribbean’ Jack Warner, said this week he “will not tolerate” some of his supporters. If only Newcastle would appoint him instead of Keegan. Now that would be entertainment.

-Sean O'Conor