The Rainbow Name-tion

Welcome to the land of the wackiest club names in football...

To the mood music of droning vuvuzelas, England won 3-0 tonight in South Africa, though far from impressively. The conditions were interesting, with a plunging thermometer, as Steven Gerrard confirms.

The pampered stars beat the Platinum Stars, which got me thinking - does the Rainbow Nation have the best club names in world soccer? We know the Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates well enough, and maybe too the Mamelodi Sundowns or Supersport United. But how about this lineup of real South African clubs....beats Real Salt Lake & Co. I'd say, or for that matter England's Argyles, Albions and assorted Victorian monikers. As far as I know they are genuine, but you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise...

Zebra F.C. v Yebo Yes
All Blacks v Dangerous Darkies
Stinging Bees v Natal Wasps
Police Cats v Dogg Pound
Messina Copperpot v Kiwi Double Seven
Hlanganani Try Again v Kimberley Naughty Boys
Real Movers v Peace Brothers
Wildebeest South v Vaal Crocodiles
Mighty Chaps v Mighty Special
Peacemakers v Pietermaritzburg Savages
Dribblers Natal v Home Sweepers
Christian Aces v Jewish Guild
Sisterpark v Rescued F.C.

Smiling Angels v Rich Young Stars

Spades v Space Brothers
Last Action v Last Born
Black Brothers v Black Terrors
Honey Bees v Junior Vultures
Western Mafias v Untouchables F.C.
Dancing Stars v Blood Suckers
Camela Young Killers v Mphambo Kill Them All
Inter Juventus v Mighty Coventry
Correctional Services v Dikgading Young Killers
Atemelang Mates v Barcelona Guys
Bethlehem Defence Force v Birds United
Border Naughty Boys v Budeli Real Vultures
City Spoilers v Eastern Leopards
Defence v Destroyers
Double Action v Everlasting
Free State Killers v Health Centre United
Happy Hearts v Helicopters
Invincible Cravenby v Northern Delights
Trans Mighty Rockers v Tshimbupfe Disco Stars
Try Again v Two For Joy
Ziwigadini Real Vultures v Umtata Darkies
Two Touch v Launchers
Naughty Dribblers v Running Waters
Kappa Pirates v Kakamas Sundowns
Kenilworth Kimberley v Lovers Eastern Kwazulu
Stinkwater Brazilians v Man Dance United

I give up....South Africa wins hands down.

-Sean O'Conor

Doing World Cup rounds

Here is NSC's overview of all the tournament injury situations:

Group A

France

in doubt: William Gallas (bum calf; played last two friendlies)

ruled out: Lasanna Diarra (sickle cell anemia)

Mexico

in doubt: Guille Franco (ankle; back in training, Rafa Marquez (leg muscle; training to side)

ruled out: n/a

South Africa

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Andile Jali (heart condition diagnosis)

Uruguay

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

Group B

Argentina

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

Greece

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

Nigeria

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Victor Anichebe (shin), Onyekachi Apam (knee), John Obi Mikel (ankle), Ikechukwu Uche (knee)

South Korea

in doubt: Park Chu-Young (dislocated shoulder; expected ready for opener), Park Ji-Sung (hamstring; expected ready for opener)

ruled out: n/a

Group C

Algeria

in doubt: Habib Belaid (mystery injury; back in training), Madjid Bougherra (knee; played last friendly), Karim Matmour (thigh; played last friendly), Antar Yahia (thigh; played last friendly), Hassan Yebda (hamstring; doubtful for opener)

ruled out: Mourad Meghni (thigh)

England

in doubt: Gareth Barry (ankle; will miss opener against USA)

ruled out: David Beckham (Achilles), Rio Ferdinand (knee)

Slovenia

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

USA

in doubt: Josmer Altidore (ankle; back in training), Oguchi Onyewu (knee; playing, but sorely lacking match fitness)

ruled out: Charlie Davies (multiple injuries), Jermaine Jones (leg)

Group D

Australia

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

Germany

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Rene Adler (rib surgery), Michael Ballack (ankle), Simon Rolfes (knee), Christian Traesch (ankle), Heiko Westermann (broken foot)

Ghana

in doubt: Richard Kingson (shoulder; doubtful for opener), Sulley Muntari (thigh; back in training)

ruled out: Michael Essien (knee)

Serbia

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Ivica Dragutinovic (Achilles), Bosko Jankovic (knee)

Group E

Netherlands

in doubt: Arjen Robben (thigh muscle tear, doubtful for tournament and certain to miss opening match)

ruled out: n/a

Denmark

in doubt: Nicklas Bendtner (groin injury, doubtful for opener); John Dahl Thomasson (groin, hopeful of making opener); Simon Kjaer (knee injury, doubtful for opener); Thomas Sorensen (dislocated elbow; tournament doubt)

ruled out: n/a

Japan

in doubt: Makoto Hasebe (hip injury, doubtful for opener); Yasuyuki Konno (knee injury, certain to miss opener); Shunsuke Nakamura (injured ankle and fitness concerns, doubtful for prominent playing time)

ruled out: n/a

Cameroon

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Jacques Zoua (hamstring)

Group F

Italy

in doubt: Mauro Camoranesi (left knee injury, hopeful of making opener); Claudio Marchisio (slight injury doubt); Angelo Palombo (slight injury doubt); Andrea Pirlo (calf injury, will miss at least the opening two games)

ruled out: n/a

Paraguay

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Salvador Cabañas (gunshot wound/head injury)

New Zealand

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

Slovakia

in doubt: Marek Hamsik (muscle injury, hopeful of making opener); Martin Skrtel (ankle swelling, doubtful for opener)

ruled out: n/a

Group G

Brazil

in doubt: Julio Cesar (back injury, slight doubt for opener)

ruled out: n/a

Korea DPR

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: n/a

Ivory Coast

in doubt: Didier Drogba (broken bone in forearm, tournament doubt)

ruled out: n/a

Portugal

in doubt: Pepe (longterm knee injury and fitness concern, hopeful of making opener)

ruled out: Nani (collarbone)

Group H

Spain

in doubt: Fernando Torres (recovering from knee surgery, doubtful for opening matches)

ruled out: n/a

Switzerland

in doubt: n/a

ruled out: Christoph Spycher (knee); Marco Streller (thigh muscle)

Honduras

in doubt: David Suazo (slight leg knock, hopeful of making opener); Wilson Palacios (shin injury; doubtful for opening games)

ruled out: n/a

Chile

in doubt: Humberto Suazo (hamstring, tournament doubt and certain to miss opener)

ruled out: n/a


- Johannes de Jong & Greg Seltzer

Advanced scouting

In our final edition of AS for this cycle, Algeria still refuses to impress - even if it's a bit better.






- Greg Seltzer

'Nats > Socceroos (updated)

I will improve the reel as better ones surface and you can look for my first U.S. Player Ratings for MLSsoccer.com before too long. Let's start with the soundless first half highlights.

UPDATE: The full Monty has arrived. And a slight change of plans, as I will be doing a different article for MLSS. Do not fear, my Ratings will be there for World Cup.





- Greg Seltzer

A few World Cup Video Saturday things...

Like chocolate and peanut butter, you knew these two mighty forces of deliciousness would one day combine. That day is now and your big Saturday is in motion...

#1 - Here is today's USMNT line-up:

Howard; Cherundolo, DeMerit, Goodson, Bocanegra, Dempsey, Bradley, Clark, Donovan, Findley, Buddle

Am I the only one concerned that Gooch isn't starting?

#2 - It sucks for me that the Suns missed out on the NBA Finals, but this ouster has allowed Steve Nash to file World Cup video reports for CBS. Deluxe.

#3 - HuffPo's Max Bergmann attempts to break down England tactically. Great minds and all that jazz.

#4 - SI's Grant Wahl offers up his own Top 5'er on what the USMNT wants to do against Australia.

#5 - Vanity Fair wonders when somebody will step up and out the shooter of Paraguay's Salvador Cabanas. I've been wondering that myself.

#6 - The Guardian looks at the scouts who unearthed a magnificent seven of World Cup headliners.

Also, The Independent tips some young players for World Cup stardom and then talks up chances of a first Oranje world title.

And now to the tube...

US Soccer offers up an Australia preview clip and part one of a Studio 90 with Mo Edu.






The AP checks in at the USMNT dairy farm... erm, training base.




Fabio Capello comments on Rio Ferdinand's injury blow, and then the media reacts.






Finally, on the edge of South Africa's World Cup, ESPN's brilliant Outside The Lines series tells us the tale of Robben Island's soccer league.





- Greg Seltzer

Advanced scouting

Well, Slovenia had a bit tougher time against New Zealand than they'd like, but the skill of Novakovic got them the win.

Please do note that the Kiwis gave Slovenia fits in the air and scored as product of a knocked down long ball, while Slovenia scored their third from a diagonal cross. Told ya.




- Greg Seltzer

Sacré Bleu

- French tears may be streaming into the bouillabaisse tonight, after Raymond Domenech led his team to a 1-0 loss against China (for perspective, the Chinese currently sit 84th in the FIFA rankings). The '06 runners up will have hoped to use this friendly to build form before their June 11th opener against Uruguay, but instead pile onto growing concerns about the team's resolve and firepower.

- In welcome news to American chances, England captain Rio Ferdinand has been ruled out of the tournament after scans revealed that the 31 year old defender had suffered ligament damage in his first training session on the African continent. Tottenham Hotspurs defender Michael Dawson has been drafted into the squad in his stead, while Ledley King is widely expected to deputize in the starting XI.

- England were not alone in weathering stiff injury news, with the Ivory Coast informed that talismanic striker Didier Drogba is the likely casualty of a broken elbow. The Ivorian underwent emergency surgery on the arm in hope of salvaging his chances.

- The BBC also caught up with USMNT midfielder Michael Bradley for a fairly routine interview. The Mönchengladbacher discusses the dynamic of being coached by his father, as well as how moving abroad at a young age impacted his development.

- Interesting interview on CNN about the physical rigors and fitness regimens of World Cup referees.

- Johannes de Jong

RSL has their day at the White House

- Greg Seltzer

Warming up

A member of the US team emailed me today to say he's A-OK in Africa and hoping to impress the world!

So is every nation over there of course, many of whom have been learning their lines for the big curtain call in a week or so...

*After troubling England at Wembley, Mexico pip the world champs
*Japan score three against the Three Lions, kinda
*An o.g. for Germany too, but they recover, as always
*Aussies down the Danes, in a most bucolic setting
*Ghana are rotten in Rotterdam against Holland
*Chile beat Israel in the fog
*Bafana Bafana at last!
*Brazil ease past Zimbabwe
*Portugal find their feet against Cameroon
*The Swiss roll over for the Ticos
*Paraguay conquer Greece
*Spain share five with Saudi Arabia, then beat South Korea
*Algeria collapse in Dublin
*Germany blank Hungary
*Serbia lose, Neven Subotic and all, to New Zealand !

I'm not a fan of predictions, but from what I have seen on screen and in the flesh this season, there is one team that has not been touted much so far, but is looking deadlier than all the others. Zakumi points the way...

Meanwhile, North Korea's cunning plan is foiled, while good ole' Glanville foresees a draw between England and the US.

Rafael Benitez was shown the Anfield door today after a season in the doldrums, prompting speculation that Steven Gerrard, Fernando Torres and others will follow suit. I shan't forget the day at Craven Cottage a Fulham press officer asked me the name of the Champions League-winning coach just before announcing him to a crowded room.





- Sean O'Conor

Top 5 "Are You Kidding Me?" World Cup 2010 Snubs

I nearly didn't do this one, as it seemed so obvious and I figured facsimiles would be everywhere. I hadn't seen anything, so... here we are.

It's very simple, the title says it all. Most of my picks are precisely a shade of player not on the particular manager's palette in South Africa. Let's commence...

Honorable mentions: Adam Johnson (England), Alexandre Pato (Brazil), Javier Zanetti (Argentina)

#5 - Alex (Brazil)

Juan, again? Gilberto, still? I was gonna go with Johnson here, because England so clearly needs him to balance out the 43 speedy right wingers along, but this habitually underrated defender is the best fit backliner among World Cup nations not going to the party. He had to make the list.

#4 - Ronaldinho (Brazil)

Yes, you again, Dunga. I realize you have oodles of talent to choose from and could well win without these two players, but sheesh... you're leaving Ronaldinho behind, and one that notched 12 goals and 15 helpers in Serie A this season. I'll give the Brazil boss one thing: he has some kinda balls. If they don't win, he'll never hear the end of it so long as he lives.

#3 - Giuseppe Rossi (Italy)

No, I'm not trying to include this New Jersey-born agitant to American soccer sensibilities in order to cause anyone annoyance. It's just that the five strikers Italy has in South Africa do not constitute the most varied bunch when it comes to style and skills. The lone buzzing little bomber is 32-year old Antonio Di Natale. The Azzurri also won't have Del Piero or Totti, so an X-factor in attack will need to step forward if they hope to repeat. And yeah... it appears, for now, that he may have chosen the wrong shirt.

#2 - Karim Benzema (France)

How is it exactly that this Real Madrid livewire has only three caps since the start of 2009? For crying out loud, he scored twice given barely past 90 minutes of World Cup qualifying time. Sure, as I predicted last summer, he got lost a bit in the highly political Galacticos selection - but the guy still found time to net 10 and assist on four. Naturally, Benzema is exactly the type of forward not coming to South Africa with them. Next time you want to moan about Bob Bradley, imagine having Raymond Domenech... that'll cure ya right up.

#1 - Esteban Cambiasso (Argentina)

If I even need to explain this, you have likely stumbled onto the wrong blog by mistake.


- Greg Seltzer

Jozy says : D'Oh!

After having Carlos Bocanegra and Jay DeMerit miss a bit of training earlier in the week, the USMNT missed ankle sprain victim Josmer Altidore in Thursday's session.

Next up for the striker comes tomorrow's fitness test for Saturday's tilt with Australia.


- Greg Seltzer

ESPN paid money for this = sad

Dear Worldwide Leader,

If you absolutely must give away loads of cash for incoherent, pointless babble, I will let you record me talking in my sleep. Or if you prefer, I can go on your fine network and spend two minutes speaking on a topic I hold no knowledge of, like auto repair or Lady Gaga.

Love,
A guy who makes considerably less than Beano Cook and gets it


PS - I even have a fandangled computer.





- Greg Seltzer

World Cup Video Thursday

The Top 5'er will be up before long, but first enjoy some World Cup 2010 tube...

We begin with the very complimentary Road To South Africa series, which profiles the USMNT along with l'enfant terrible France.






From the "Hallo moeduh, hallo vaduh" file: US Soccer offers Part 1 of a look at their fitness works.



Inside The Pro takes a feature look at Tim Howard.




Former 'Nat Gregg Berhalter shares his favorite World Cup moment.




In this CNN report, we learn that the USMNT will have the largest traveling support in South Africa. For a long time, the U.S. stood second in ticket purchases, but a later rally gives you guys the title. Well done!




Finally... I'm a Pepsi man to the core, but props to Coke for this Wayne Rooney bit.






- Greg Seltzer

The Red Pill or the Blue?

I am sliding my Top 5'er to the morning, so we can get everyone introduced to the new NSC hand, Johannes de Jong. As you've probably guessed by the name, he's half-Dutch. He plays left back and he discusses things at length. And now, the floor is his for the first time...


No, (unfortunately) I’m not sitting down in conversation with Lawrence Fishburne; I don’t have special powers; and I’m not mankind’s last and only hope. Like that famous scene from the Matrix, however, I am arched back in my burgundy leather armchair cheap mesh office chair, confronted by a dilemma: How will José Francisco Torres figure into Bob Bradley's team? And what will that say about US soccer?

Fresh off of a stellar showing for the US in the 2-1 win over Turkey, Torres has aroused significant hype. His technical play awoke the easily excited Big Soccer monster, and has led to numerous calls across the board for a prominent role in the finals. Of course, this is a very welcome headache – one that US soccer isn’t used to. It signifies a level of depth like never before.

The Torres selection question, however, registers on many more levels than merely a decision of personnel. The tiny (5ft5”) Mexican-based playmaker has been schooled in a football culture that doesn’t discriminate as intensely on frame size. Manchester United recently plucked Javier Hernandez from the Mexican Leagues – the striker nicknamed, of all things, “the little pea” (El Chicharito); and some of the biggest names to hail from south of the border – like Giovani Dos Santos, Andrés Guardado and Pavel Pardo – have barely towered above the mid 5ft range.

Small stature doesn’t have to be a limitation, just look at the roughly 5ft7” Barcelona midfield/attack! But, talking about Torres as a starter treads into a question about style and soccer identity. He’s a very Spanish player in his approach, who likes to play the ball along the ground and accent his passing and close control with an element of flair and individualism. For a US team born out of well-drilled college programs and modeled largely after the Northern European styles – where the game is more tactical, machinated, physical and collective in its approach, a pint-sized flair player is an unusual inclusion. This is a team that used to hoof and hope, and bank on brute to get results. In South Africa, it stands at a crossroads.

Past and perhaps future USMNT managerial candidate Jürgen Klinsmann recently discussed the need of the country to find its own identity and voice as a soccer nation. In some sense, Torres might force the issue... but most likely as the fulcrum of the next cycle.

Including Torres in the current starting XI would be a signal of intent for more reckless attack. There is nothing to say that it couldn't be successful. An Everton side featuring Landon Donovan out wide and Steven Pienaar playing in a central role - who is somewhat similar to Torres in build and style - coolly grabbed results against Arsenal and both Manchester powerhouses. But with major concerns over the form and fitness of the US back-line overhanging team preparations, and opponents like England brimming full of goal threat - particularly from midfield, the more conservative approach is not without its merit.

After four years of patiently crafting a team around balance, work ethic and a defensively postured 4-4-2, accommodating a tactic-altering player at such a late stage is unlikely to happen. Ricardo Clark and Maurice Edu fit more seamlessly as the prime candidates to pair Michael Bradley in the middle. Both are blessed with athleticism and physical presence, and would afford wide players like Dempsey and Donovan greater freedom to move forward on the counter - again in keeping with Bradley's approach. On the other hand, Torres - who boasts less versatility than a player like Stuart Holden - will likely figure in as a game-changing option off the bench.

South Africa could prove to be the perfect test drive for the man called El Gringo, and the dividing line for the national team as it carves out its own identity from within its melting pot of styles and players.


Johannes de Jong

I defy you not to join this.

I know I will be.


- Greg Seltzer

Hallo moeduh, hallo vaduh

As you can see, I've switched to Afrikaans. It's another busy day, so let's again start by catching up with the USMNT in South Africa. Later today, look for a World Cup Top 5 List here and the new MLS Club Ladder at S365. I've also several fun items coming up at MLSsoccer.com, but you'll just need to wait to see what they are. Here are the two from last night, on Bursaspor's Heath Pearce crush and on the high level of USMNT "worldliness" in South Africa...

We've seen the photos and heard all about it, but now you can re-live the USMNT's glorious arrival in Jo'burg. And ya know what? I kinda wanted Stuart Holden to get in there and dance, too.




With the reflective glare of a World Cup, mainstream outlets in America jump the bandwagon for a time. Here, CBS educates the masses about Landon Donovan. It's always interesting to see how these pieces made for non-fans are put across.




Meanwhile, this SN-TV (think AP media arm) report gives you an idea of how the USMNT is being profiled outside the States. This English bit respectfully labels them as an 'outsider to watch'.




ESPN's Chris Fowler must read NSC. Has to. See if you agree after watching him discuss USMNT expectations heading towards game one.




Finally... I don't generally post too many of these video melange psych up for World Cup clips, but I dig this one.




- Greg Seltzer

Cut and run Fabio

He's a wily one, that Capello.

Having led us all up the garden path he pulls a few surprises in his final England 23, which no-one correctly guessed yesterday. He also surprised us by letting the final cut slip out via Twitter and other sources hours before the official announcement - a media mess.

Stephen Warnock was wholly absent from the last two friendlies but bagged the second left-back spot ahead of Leighton Baines. Michael Carrick, despite appearing to slip out of contention following dismal performances, pushes Tom Huddlestone off the plane, while Capello gambles on the still-crocked Gareth Barry to heal so he can stop juggling his midfield at such late notice. Joe Cole was the only one who passed the recent auditions. The lithe Adam Johnson will have to wait until Euro 2012 for his chance, which brings me to Theo Walcott, the glaring omission.

This morning I was telling my Chelsea-loving friend that Walcott's woeful form did not merit selection but that he was still a smarter option than Shaun Wright-Phillips' tram-line running. So when I saw the news I felt a twang of supporters' guilt. 11 starts for Arsenal this season cannot have helped Walcott's case, but a rousing cameo against Barcelona in the Champions League and apparent assurances a month ago to Arsenal appeared to ink him as an impact sub if not a starter. Then came the camp and the friendlies and Fabio changed his mind.

Theo is only 21 so let's not be too harsh on him but what a disaster it is to miss out after scoring that fantastic hat-trick away to Croatia in the qualifiers. Ridiculously picked by Sven-Goran Eriksson for Germany 2006 with no prospect of playing time, Walcott still seemed the future of England, let alone the Three Lions - mixed race, articulate, pleasant, good-looking, young and talented, our soccer-Obama if you will, or an embodiment of virtues Englishmen seem painfully short of.

Instead of which, after literally running into several blind corners, crossing inaccurately a la Chris Klein, losing the ball too often and committing the cardinal sin of flying wingers the world over - forgetting to work one's brain as quickly as one's feet, Walcott misses the boat.

The clues were there last at last summer's Euro U21 tournament in Sweden. Walcott began as a stunning sub before gaining more playing time and eventually finding himself nullified and invisible as teams learnt he was going nowhere fast.

Maybe Chris Waddle was right - Walcott doesn't have a football brain yet. If so, what a waste of energy getting all excited about him.

Instead of England's Obama, he's become our Freddy Adu.

England Squad:

G - James, Hart, Green
D - Johnson, A.Cole, Terry, Ferdinand, Upson, King, Carragher, Warnock
M- Milner, Lennon, Gerrard, Lampard, Barry, Carrick, Wright-Phillips, J.Cole
F -Rooney, Crouch, Defoe, Heskey

- Sean O'Conor

Earnie on the rise

As foreshadowed here at NSC, former U.S. star Earnie Stewart has left NAC Breda to become technical director at AZ Alkmaar. He will have better players, more money and allure to work with and he will be much closer for me to visit.

Congrats, Earnie. May you claim second place as long as you keep this job. Heh.


- Greg Seltzer

A few things... (updated)

So here's the deal: starting today, some of my stuff will be shifting around. I will still be at S365 and here at NSC, but most all of my Americans abroad and USMNT prattle is heading to MLSsoccer.com, where eventually I'll have my own page. I will start dropping bits there later today (UPDATE: first one a USMNT Top 5'er). Do not despair, however, as travelin' man Sean is heading to South Africa and NSC will have a third scribe on board very soon...

#1 - A couple of notes from the USMNT Blog: the squad numbers for World Cup have been submitted (so you can all go get your jerseys done now) and Clint Dempsey has picked up the Fulham Goal of the Year Award for his ice cream scoop against Juventus - certainly no shocker there.

#2 - The Guardian has a link to every World Cup squad by group on their main tourney page.

#3 - The Chronicle's Toby Miller shoots down any snide views that liking soccer or World Cup is un-American.

#4 - Nutmeg Radio's Miriti Murungi breaks down the MLS single entity implications of a court case involving the NFL. I'd swear lawyers make things extra complicated just so no one else can understand.

#5 - South American reports have Chivas USA closing on Atlante's Venezuela striker ace Giancarlo Maldonado.

#6 - From the "rich get richer" file: ex-St. Louis midfield ace Shannon Boxx has joined up with WPS leaders FC Gold Pride.

#7 - Back at The Guardian, Owen Gibson continues the examination of exactly how much positive effect South Africa will experience from hosting World Cup 2010.

#8 - Finally, a Dutch hardware store ad offers Oranje a way to get through those tricky penalty shootouts...






- Greg Seltzer