Coming attractions

Next up on the soccer movie production line is what sounds like a hoot: Russell Brand as a whacked out pro footballer who comes to America for his final big contract. So... if he's going to Texas, does that make him a Dynamo? An FC Dallas-er? Is MLS going to be involved?

I'm asking around and will report back. And, of course, I will now seek out a chat with Mr. Brand. Wouldn't that be interesting? Hopefully not so interesting I stuff his narcotics up my bum.


- Greg Seltzer

Who likes goals?

I delayed this a little so as to get out of Sean's FIFA-questioning way, but now let's enjoy some circus acts...

Let's begin with the adventures of Mr. Wiggly Hypnotizement, more commonly known as Zlatan. I love the music.




At a time, Groningen chased the services of Vitesse's Marcus Pedersen. And then they were winning 4-0. My suspicion is that Pedersen felt resentful toward Gang Green in the 79th minute.




Is it just me or does Monterrey's Humberto Suazo makes this championship capper look painfully easy?




Yeah, the keeper could have done better, but our free kick nod still goes to this insane bomb from Dorel Stoica of Universitatea Craiova (who are forever enshrined in awesome for selling Ajax Christian Chivu).




Finally, Samir Nasri gets silly to beat Fulham. Is he great or is he drunk? You decide!


ful21vj0g3e
Geüpload door arsenalist. - Bekijk nog meer comedy video's.




- Greg Seltzer

The finest Swiss cheese

*Too little, too late - We now learn Switzerland's sports minister had ordered an investigation into "corruption in sport" a month before the controversial World Cup hosting decisions.

"It is clear that Switzerland is obliged to do something," Ueli Maurer announced in response to the growing allegations of FIFA wrongdoings, which led to the suspension of two Ex.Co. members and a further four FIFA officials before the vote.

Around 50 international sporting organizations including the big three of FIFA, UEFA and the IOC enjoy the fresh Swiss air, exemption from anti-corruption laws and an understanding that the government will not interfere in their work. But don't hold your breath. Maurer said any changes could take "two or three years" and last year he described Sepp Blatter as "an outstanding representative of the nation and football."

*But all's well at FIFA, according to General Secretary Jerome Valcke:

"We haven't sat down to discuss reform of the voting system," he told the media yesterday. No surprise there. But what is this -

"Yes, it is a political decision," Valcke said of the World Cup hosting vote, "but overall I think reactions were positive. The decision was fairly well received by football fans." - Come again?

It would have been nice if FIFA had told the aspiring host nations before submission deadline in March 2009 that geo-political factors would matter most. And I haven't met many fans relishing the Qatari heat or the 1,500-mile trek between Kaliningrad and Ekaterinburg, free train tickets or no.

Valcke also swatted away questions about bent Ex.Co. members:

"The matter is closed," he said. "We reacted well to the situation...There is no need to be ashamed." Except that FIFA has yet to act on the allegations hanging over Grondona, Hayatou, Leoz, Texeira and Warner.

*Former FA chief Lord Triesman has called for an inquiry into the 2018/2022 decisions. Triesman resigned in May over kiss-and-tell allegations, which also revealed his belief in collusion between Spain and Russia, two football nations which did rather well in 2010...

*Russian bid member Vyacheslav Koloskov has told Moscow's Sport-Express that Vladimir Putin met with "at least a third" of the Ex.Co. and that these meetings were followed up "on a daily basis." This is in marked contrast to Putin claiming he did not attend the vote because he didn't wish to place any "external pressure" on the Ex.Co.'s "impartial" decision. "They must have an opportunity to work calmly, without any pressure from anyone," Putin had said.

*Australian bid strategist Peter Hargitay has told SBS television that he was approached after the voting had finished by two Ex.Co. members to confirm they indeed had backed the Aussies for 2012. Only thing was, Australia only got ONE vote.

Hargitay described the FIFA Ex.Co. animal thus -

"You are dealing with a very special type of person who will shake your hand, look you in the eye at five o'clock in the afternoon before the day of voting and say 'I'm with you'."

*N.Ireland's Jim Boyce, who is expected to join the Ex.Co. next year, is open to change - "It should be an open ballot where no-one has anything to hide. I would have no problems with people being made accountable for the decisions they have taken."

*Man U boss Alex Ferguson agrees loosening the FIFA Ex.Co.'s grip on the World Cup invoves climbing a Swiss mountain - "Do you know how difficult that is? It is a new word for FIFA - democracy."

Blatter is up for re-election in 2011 but I don't hold out much hope in potential replacements Mohammed Bin-Hamman or Chung Mong Joon. For now we'd better get ready for Russia and Qatar and hope for cleaner, fairer things for 2026.

Russia's winning bid videos:




Ex-Nats coach Bora stars in Qatar's presentation:



-Sean O'Conor

My FIFA wish list

It has been a sobering time since FIFA's Executive Committee binned our bids. Often it is better not to react at once to things that make you emotional, but as the mist clears from Thursday's decision in Zurich, it is clear the sport's governing body needs reform.

Russia had some case - it has a long soccer heritage and is an important nation that has never hosted the World Cup before, although it might also be a 'mafia state' according to the Wikileaks cables, which ought to disqualify it on moral grounds. I thought Russia or Spain/Portugal would pip England to 2018, but the size of England's rejection is hard to stomach given the glowing technical and commercial evaluations. Indeed, the four votes for the Dutch/Belgian bid in the first round reducing to two in the second may well be evidence of delegates deliberately voting England out as soon as possible.

The 2022 choice of Qatar does seems wrong, as President Obama courageously said. Yes, it might go a little way to healing wounds between the West and the Arab world, and give fans who can brave the heat the chance to interact with people they might not have otherwise met, but other bids had more going for them. The argument that choosing Qatar is about money for FIFA is challenged by the McKinsey report which rated the all the other bids except Australia's as more lucrative. As to whether Qatar was better personally for the Ex.Co., I could not possibly comment.

Many here in England have been calling for an exit from FIFA, something the Football Association has done twice before, but I don't think this idea has legs, much as I like it. England's withdrawal last century meant it lost three great chances to win the World Cup and other sports have been devalued by having two or more world champions.

Over at Soccerphile, I penned this wish-list of changes at FIFA. So, in an ideal world...

1. Suspend Jack Warner, Issa Hayatou, Ricardo Texeira and Nicolas Leoz from the Executive Committee immediately and let an independent body investigate the serious allegations against them raised by Andrew Jennings, Espen Sandli & Togeir Korkfjord and the BBC. Suspend Julio Grondona until the Wall Street Journal's allegations are dealt with too. Allow this body to probe further allegations of corruption made by Mel Brennan, David Yallop and various media outlets. Sepp Blatter's anger at the "evil media" sounds like an admission of guilt. And a FIFA President should not 'direct the jury' before a vote again.
2. End the practice of concealing FIFA demands on potential hosts' governments. No nation should be bullied, as the Netherlands were this time, into becoming a temporary tax haven for FIFA.
3. Open up the World Cup vote beyond the 22 men on the Ex.Co. There are 208 FIFA member nations and until 1983 all had a say. The final decision for the 2012 Olympics by comparison had 104 IOC members voting.
4. Never again schedule two hosting votes simultaneously - the potential for collusion was just too great, as Spain/Portugal and Qatar duly proved.
5. Make the ballots open and require voters to explain their decision to the press like politicians must justify voting for particular bills. And ensure every voter receives the bid books - only three requested England's 2018 document!
6. End this obsession with 'legacy' and 'new lands'. Create guidelines for deciding on the host which stress football heritage, existing ability to host the tournament, the traveling fan experience in the country and the tournament's financial potential. It is ludicrous that bidders are being punished for having the best stadia and infrastructure already in place and that FIFA's own technical and commercial criteria (the Evaluation Reports and the McKinsey study) were blatantly ignored by the Ex.Co. No more than one out of every three World Cups should be on virgin soil, not the three out of four we have at present. The game's heartlands deserve the lion's share because that is where football is most supported.
7. Impose financial limits on lobbying as political parties have on publicity in UK constituency elections. Russia outspent Spain/Portugal three-to-one on their way to victory and Qatar's largesse was well-documented.
8. Adopt the strict IOC rules on Olympic bid lobbying - no voter may vacation in a bidding nation, be approached outside of bidding conventions or even have a drink bought for them by a bidding representative.
9. Make integrity a bidding factor. Countries guilty of human rights abuses, money laundering & organized crime and restrictions on press freedom should not be rewarded with the world's biggest party.
10. Leave Switzerland for a more transparent nation. FIFA should depart the land of secret bank accounts for somewhere which wants to engage with the world, preferably a small European Union nation like Belgium, Denmark or Luxembourg, where business and politics are more open. The whiff of corruption at FIFA H.Q. goes with the territory at present.

-Sean O'Conor

Carlito's Way (updated)

Saint-Étienne defender Carlos Bocanegra's first goal for the club looks to be a 2-1 winner against Bordeaux, but there's a few minutes left still. The U.S. skipper nodded home a Dmitiri Payet service with 21 minutes left, potentially taking Les Verts from 11th to eighth and to within four points of the top.

Aaaand now, Bordeaux have tied it back up in the 89th minute.

UPDATE: The game ends 2-2, with the hosts kept down in 11th, six points adrift off first places. Clip to come...


UPDATE UPDATE: Here 'tis.






- Greg Seltzer

Mikey had liked it, at the time...

For the second straight season, Michael Bradley scored as 'Gladbach hosted Hannover 96 - albeit this time in a losing cause.

Pardon my tardiness here; the goal was originally given to Igor De Camargo and I just now noticed the change. Since Steve Cherundolo's Reds are up to third with the win, I figured just drop the full highlights.






- Greg Seltzer

Let's just hope Zlatan doesn't see this.

He'd tackle The Onion. Ohhhh, The Onion... so wrong, yet so right.

I look forward to the day when this topic can be more accepted as normal or mainstream, and not ridiculed as lesser or illegitimate.

I'm referring to the image of soccer in America, of course.


Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay



- Greg Seltzer

Ladies and gentleman, the photoshop stylings of Mr. Poul-Henrik Worm...

- Poul-Henrik Worm

FIFA = dirty scum (updated)

I'll have a full blast later on at S365, but let's just not pretend that awarding World Cups to Russia and Qatar was based on strength of proposals. Mmmmkay?

UPDATE: Okay, NSC regulars. I know someone is skilled enough on the computer to plaster Blatter's name and face (plus Valcke or your least favorite FIFA executive committee official) on this album cover:




UPDATE UPDATE: I'm sure you'd all love to see these hilarious vote totals for the two Cups. My added remarks are in blue.

2018 FIFA World Cup™

Round 1: England 2 votes (!!), Netherlands/Belgium 4 votes, Spain/Portugal 7 votes and Russia 9 votes (as no absolute majority was reached, the candidate with least amount of votes, England, was eliminated)

Now, notice how the Dutch/Belgian bid magically loses two supporters in this decisive round... just in case. Fixed.

Round 2: Netherlands/Belgium 2 votes, Spain/Portugal 7 votes and Russia 13 votes (Russia obtained an absolute majority)

2022 FIFA World Cup™

Round 1: Australia 1 vote, Japan 3 votes, Korea Republic 4 votes, Qatar 11 votes, USA 3 votes (!!!) (Australia eliminated)

Round 2: Japan 2 votes, Korea Republic 5 votes, Qatar 10 votes and USA 5 votes (Japan eliminated)

Round 3: Korea Republic 5 votes, Qatar 11 votes, USA 6 votes (Korea Republic eliminated)

Round 4: Qatar 14 votes and USA 8 votes (Qatar obtained an absolute majority)

I would LOVE to know who constitutes Qatar's original 11, as well as the three names who caved in after round one. Bought and paid for.

The FIFA EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE OF SHAME
Sepp Blatter (Switzerland)
Julio Grondona (Argentina)
Issa Hayatou (Cameroon)
Chung Mong-joon (South Korea)
Jack Warner (Trinidad and Tobago)
Angel Maria Villar (Spain)
Michel Platini (France)
Geoff Thompson (England)
Michel D'Hooghe (Belgium)
Ricardo Teixeira (Brazil)
Mohamed Bin Hammam (Qatar)
Senes Erzik (Turkey)
Chuck Blazer (United States)
Worawi Makudi (Thailand)
Nicolas Leoz (Paraguay)
Junji Ogura (Japan)
Marios Lefkaritis (Cyprus)
Jacques Anouma (Ivory Coast)
Franz Beckenbauer (Germany)
Rafael Salguero (Guatemala)
Hany Abo Rida (Egypt)
Vitaly Mutko (Russia)


- Greg Seltzer

D-Day in Zurich

Not long to go now before we know the hosts for World Cups 2018 & 2022.

I've been concentrating so much on the European fist-fight for 2018, forgive me if I haven't studied the following one in-depth; it seems harder to pin down all the 22 Executive Committee voters' intentions for 2022 as it is for 2018, but I have a feeling the US' superb bid has the edge over the Spanish-Qatari pact, Australia's various travails and the lack of enthusiasm for another Japanese or Korean show twenty years since the last one.

If Qatar has the wow factor, and it certainly does - a country of less than two million people, climate-cooled stadia because of 30c-50C (86F - 122F) temperatures outside and the first World Cup in the Middle East and the Islamic world, it all still seems too much too soon for FIFA.

Bill Clinton, Morgan Freeman and Co. have been doing their best to convince FIFA to come Stateside again, while Sunil Gulati is captaining the ship home to America.

Mark Bisson and James Corbett provide the most detailed guide to the runners and riders, but it will still go down to the wire.

It has been a hectic two years of bidding, but as with 1966 and USA '94, the memories would last a lifetime. I know Greg wants a low countries win in 2018, but as for me here's to an English-speaking one-two in Switzerland!

-Sean O'Conor

Reminisicing (not affiliated with the Little River Band)

Why not have a longer look back at Jonathan Spector's big night. We have extended highlights, which you can follow with the match star's post-game interview and a few remarks about his old boy from Sir Alex.


West Ham United v Manchester United
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- Greg Seltzer

Spector night - a celebration

Jonathan Spector must have dreamed of scoring for Manchester United, so yesterday was probably the next best thing.

Spec has had a frustrating 2010, failing to find playing time at the World Cup while being stuck with superglue to the West Ham bench as the Thames Irons languish at the foot of the table. So how much must the Illinoian have loved last night? While millions of Londoners suffered an ordeal of a journey home in heavy snow, at least one must have never wanted the night to end.

It was games like that which boys everywhere dream about becoming a footballer for - "real Roy of the Rovers stuff" as the commentator aptly put it. Here's what the London press had to say about Spec's barnstorming brace against his former employers, an unexpected and unforgettable occasion...

"If revenge is a dish best served cold, Spector chose his moment perfectly considering the wintry conditions" - Daily Express

"Ostensibly playing as West Ham's holding midfielder, Spector ran at the visitors" - Jamie Jackson, Guardian

"SPECS APPEAL - Jonathan Spector is flying after making it 2-0...The American...only got the nod because Grant wanted to give midfield kingpin Scott Parker a rest. Whether it was a stroke of genius or a slice of pure desperation by the Upton Park chief, did not matter. It paid off in the most spectacular way that could turn their troubled season all the way round" - Pat Sheehan, The Sun

"Thrill Spector a huge hit...Spector stole the show in the first half. Spector was absolutely everywhere, scoring in the 22nd and 37th minutes, while he was also heavily involved in a disallowed goal" - Andy Rose, Daily Star

"Last night, Manchester United were haunted by a spectre - or rather a Spector - with their former player Jonathan scoring twice in an astonishing performance...Spector was clearly enjoying his unfamiliar role in midfield and his willingness to get forward also brought about his second goal... Jonathan Spector's Manchester United career ran to just two Premier League starts and ended four years ago but the US international finally made his presence felt at the Old Trafford club" - Ian Winrow, Independent

"And to think that Spector, who started his career at Old Trafford, was the driving force...a bit-part player until now, who delivered an arresting contribution...just as West Ham United supporters will have feared that they would get a Scott Parker-lite performance from his stand-in, who has not played since August, they got the real deal. Spector craves to play in central midfield and here he was giving more than a passable impression of Parker" - Jason Burt, Telegraph

"Jonathan Spector looks like a bona fide Premier League star, rather than the biggest disappointment to come out of Chicago since the 44th President of the United States" - Dan Jones, Evening Standard

"West Ham dumped holders Manchester United out of the Carling Cup with a stunning 4-0 victory inspired by Jonathan Spector's first goals in English football. Spector had never scored during his six seasons in the Barclays Premier League but here the USA defender struck twice to begin a rout that sent Hammers fans delirious"- Daily Mail

"Spector is a professional guy, he always tries hard even when he is not in the squad, and he has had to wait for his chance. But we changed his position in training a month ago - he must have been watching Barcelona and Real Madrid!" - Avram Grant

"I don't know where those goals came from, but they were a long time coming...It's been disappointing not being in the team, but I've been working hard" - Jonathan Spector

Busy, busy, busy

[Photo: Tom Tomsk]

With my transfer window chase now firmly on, it's been hectic around here lately. Let's get you caught up with my latest, just in case you missed something.

- Today's MLSS Postcard From Europe: Eugene Starikov
- A bit of winter break Benny buzz, with a Mexican league player
- My MLS Expansion Draft Week Winners & Losers
- Oguchi Onyewu could change his mind about a loan spell
- Bolton's Stuart Holden is questionable for the weekend
- This week's Top 5 Continental Shifts from Europe
- Chris Konopka excited by Jagiellonia Bialystok chance

Tomorrow, I will have another bit of U.S. star transfer window news (or should I say non-news?) at MLSS.


- Greg Seltzer