Who likes goals?

Yes, I do have a man crush on Barca, if it's possible to crush on 11 dudes simultaneously. Or whatever. The build-up is prettier than the goal.

RVP with the proverbial nuclear warhead missile launch.

It pains me to admit that the Bundesliga has circled Serie A, but as a top-to-bottom league it's just better now. Better fans, better stadiums, better depth. The 20-year-old Christian Clemens agrees, I'd imagine.

But I must allow Serie A vet Clarence Seedorf a proper retort.

Another golazo for your troubles, this one from Mathieu Valbuena.

- Will Parchman