Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Wisdom of Dictators

Sepp Blatter will not rule the kingdom of soccer beyond 2015 when his anointed son Michel Platini takes the throne.

Until then we will have to listen to the Dear Leader's pompous and hallucinatory rhetoric.

At the little-known but important International Football Arena gathering in Zurich today, a soccer Bilderberg if you will, the FIFA President addressed the assembled bigwigs by musing about his humble origins, before speaking in proverbs:

"Those who take risks will never have a chance."

"It is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done."

"Winning is easy, but not everyone can accept defeat."

"The important thing is to make decisions yourself - even if it's the wrong one."

"It is better to bribe and cheat than to win fairly and squarely."

Ok, I made the last one up, but you get the picture. The problem is football's overlords are treated like royalty wherever they fly so the power goes to their heads sooner or later.

It is hard to forget the answer Blatter's predecessor, the incredibly bent Joao Havelange, gave in Marseille in 1997 to a journalist who asked him if he thought he was the most powerful man on earth:

"I've been to Russia twice, invited by President Yeltsin...In the 1990 World Cup in Italy I saw Pope John Paul II three times. When I go to Saudi Arabia, King Fahd welcomes me in splendid fashion. In Belgium I had a one and a half hour meeting with King Albert...They've got their power and I've got mine: the power of football, which is the greatest power there is."

At this summer's Olympic Women's Football Final in London, Sepp Blatter was loudly booed by the 80,000 crowd at Wembley, but in his own mind, he has not only done nothing wrong, he is starting to think he is a guru to the world.

In Zurich, before pronouncing another platitude about winning and losing, the former Swiss watch salesman qualified his pseudo-preaching thus:

"I don't want people to speak in 200 years of Blatter the philosopher,"

For once Sepp, I agree.

-Sean O'Conor

1 comment:

dikranovich said...

it makes you wonder what type of monster another brick in the wahl would have become with the title of fifa president on his resume....