TV Azteca announcer Christian Martinoli's reaction to the final moments of CONCACAF World Cup qualifying sums it all up better than anyone putting on reserved objectivity.
And I mean that kindly.
I've attempted to translate below using Spanish skills that are conversational at best. It's admittedly rough, but you will get the ridiculous gist.
UPDATE: The video has now been taken down, at least Stateside. Clip re-con hounds and the translation below remain.
UPDATE: Got em.
Translation from Zusi's equalizer onward (English, Spanish):
United States goal! Gooooaaal! Gooooaal! Gooooooaooaaaal!
(Sobbing) Goal from the United States! We love you, we love you forever and ever. (Sobbing) Ahh, God Bless America. ... They gave us qualification. ...
United States, yes! Those that wear the green, no! Them, yes! You, no!
... for the rest your life. You don't do anything for the shirt, you don't drive the team, you did not get to the Cup, you do not touch lives. It's the United States, not you ...
(His partner talks for a bit and it's not nearly as interesting. Then, while Mexico continues to do not much of anything, Johannsson scores.)
Goal! United States goal! (laughter) We are qualified. For while we were vegetating, we are qualified.
The United States scored our goals, the United States passes us in soccer, the United States saved our lives.
I hope to God that (Manuel) Vucetich puts on/takes off his pants today he supposes to practice being a better manager. It's not functioning like the other team.
(Then there's another expression about pants I'm fairly certain I can't translate properly, but he seems to be making it known that Mexico barely made the playoffs today.)
We did not take victory. The heart(?) for the playoffs does not exist in this team in this moment.
(Partner cuts in to end one of the most absurd and representatively emotional commentaries I've ever heard.)
- Jacob Klinger