Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Grilling England's Beans

Being that I exist in torrid forever love affair with food and am a complete Masterchef nerd, many of my impromptu folksy remarks and metaphors in conversation revolve around yummies. One of my go-to's is a verbal concoction where I explain pissing someone(s) off as if you prepared otherwise fine food for them with an entirely improper cooking method. To grill someone's beans (or steam their rib-eye, nuke their scallop, whatever) may be cruel... but it would sure be hilarious given the right circumstance.

And then along comes Dom Dwyer.

But do you know what would be even better than the sudden Sporting KC ace pulling on a USMNT shirt three years from now? Him pulling on an England shirt as a non-Beckham coming out of MLS sooner than that.

Seriously, what is more fun in soccer than making a Brit begrudgingly respect and rely on something coming from America? And if Dwyer actually became a regular with the Three Lions, those beans would stay grilled - if you know what I mean.










- Greg Seltzer

7 comments:

arials101 said...

I've always found this type of petty and needlessly vindictive attitude towards England from Americans rather odd. Dwyer getting an England cap wouldn't piss anyone off, his time in MLS would be seen as a bit of a curio if anything.

Bearing in mind that BWP is currently MLS top scorer and in his best season in the English 2nd tier he only scored 8 goals ..that call is a long way off.

If Dwyer wants to play for England I think he'd have to move to a Championship side and do a Jay Rodriguez; impress enough to earn a move to a PL team then score 15+ goals in a top flight season.

Greg Seltzer said...

Petty and needlessly vindictive? Toward England from Americans? Oh dear. We are talking about soccer here, ya know.

Besides, the time when getting called up when you hit 14 goals in 18 MLS games is not so far off as you might think for the Englands of the world. Rickie Lambert was in League One three years ago. Welbeck has never scored so many as 10 goals in an EPL season. If that league was producing so many England-capable stars, they would not have taken Sterling and Barkley. And they would not have finished 26th this time and would have surpassed the US finish in more than one of the last four Cups.

Tom said...

I like your formula for invective, Greg. I may adapt it a bit.

Tony M said...

Yeah, I second the WTF over "petty and vindictive". If anything, US fans tend to massively overrate English football.

Matt said...

I tried to follow that link at home and at the office...not working on 2 machines and multiple browsers

Greg Seltzer said...

Thanks for the heads up. Fixed now.

Nicholas Gaspar said...

The link address shows %27 or something like that. Otherwise, I quite enjoyed it.